How I got my agent

I sat staring at the screen for the longest time before I finally decided to write this. I won't lie - I'm not sure anyone needs to know this. Why am I doing it? Well, I guess I can't keep procrastinating on the blogging part of keeping up an author website. I *should* have written something ages ago, but I didn't, and so here I am with a 'how I got my agent' title staring at me at the top of this page. It's an easy one to start with. Or is it?

I know there are a lot of people out there whose experience in the querying trenches is as bad if not a lot worse than mine was. But I also know a lot of the 'how I got my agent' posts out there are stories of quick and easy successes and, to be frank, those never made me feel any good when I was in the trenches. So, I guess I hope that someone who is struggling right now reads this and decides to keep pushing, keep dreaming, keep trying. I hope this helps another writer, because it's brutal out there and the only way through is if we make community and lift each other.

So here's my tale of many fails before I found 'success' (read success as signing rep, the goal of the querying experience).

I finished the first novel that I would go on to query in 2019. And by finish I don't mean a first draft. I mean a revised, polished manuscript that I'd sent to people for a couple rounds of feedback. I was hopeful. I was determined.

I'm also a perfectionist, so I wouldn't start that process without information. How? Why? When? Who?

I did all the research. I read hundreds of blogposts about querying and discovered Book Twitter. I compiled lists of agents and read all the agency websites. I found every corner of MSWL and paid for a querytracker subscription. I couldn't afford a publishers marketplace one, but I hoped the combination of websites, social media, MSWL, public articles and querytracker would be enough.

I sent my first ever query late in 2019. A small batch, just to test the waters. Every single one was rejected before the year was over. I regrouped, paid for a query review and critique, re-worked my query, and tried again. My January and February batches yielded more rejection but this time I got feedback: my story wasn't marketable. Apparently, second world fantasies with ensemble casts were too hard to sell back then. I have since learnt that everything is hard to sell, but I didn't know better at that time.

So, I parked that manuscript and finished my second one, which I had been editing to distract myself from querying. I sent it to readers - including some new writing friends I'd made on Twitter - and waited. Everyone fell head over heels in love with this book. The feedback was so overwhelmingly positive, I let myself believe. This was the one.

The first query I ever sent for that second book (March 2020) got a full request 7 hours after I'd sent it. That manuscript went on to get a 14% full request rate. The pandemic had hit, and things were slowing down. People were panicking. The trenches were getting harder than they'd ever been. And yet, agents kept requesting my book.

I was excited and hopeful, but I knew nothing was guaranteed, so I began writing my third book with hopes of applying to Pitch Wars. This turned out to be the best decision I ever made because it led me to meeting my ride-or-die writing group (maybe there's another blogpost in this story?), but I didn't know it at the time. So, I drafted, and I kept an eye on my inbox all summer.

And then the rejections began to roll in. Every single one of them praised the writing, and the story. 'Fresh concept', 'unique voice,' and 'brilliant main character' were some of the things they said, all followed by 'not the right fit' and 'didn't fall in love enough.'

I was devastated. But PitchWars was approaching, and I had a fresh concept and a shinny draft to apply with. I did. And I got a request from my dream mentor.

You're guessing how that went, aren't you? Yup. A lengthy email about all the reasons she loved my book, followed by the reason she wasn't taking me on. By this point, all my fulls had been rejected and I hadn't made it into PitchWars.

It sucked. It sucked a lot. But people loved my writing. And I was stubborn. So I found new CPs and reworked my draft. I edited, and edited, and edited more. I sent more queries in the meantime and got more full requests, but I had quietly given up on that manuscript. All my hopes were on my failed PitchWars book.

In March 2021, a new mentorship program came around - WTMP. I applied with that very same PitchWars book. And Emily chose me. **Insert choirs singing Hallelujah**

I shelved the manuscript that had 'died in the trenches' and dedicated myself to revising under Emily's mentorship with every ounce of energy I had. It took a couple of months, but by the time summer arrived, I was ready. And so I began to query.

The requests poured in. This book got a grand total of 25 full requests. In 2021. I also got a total of 24 full rejections. I think you can see where this is going, but bear with me - the actual story is a bit wild. After a year of querying this book, getting excited about requests and then crushed by more 'not the right fit' rejections, I had finished another manuscript. I was also very ready to give up altogether. But my friends encouraged me to keep trying. And I told myself: one more time.

Just one more book. One more round in the trenches.

I stopped sending queries for my WTMP book, and notified any agents still outstanding that I was closing the queries as CNR. Then, I began querying my new manuscript. For the third time, requests started to come in. And yet, every request made me scared. It would mean a bigger disappointment when it inevitably turned into a rejection. I began to think I'd rather not have requests at all. What a weird mindset to be in, but I was scarred. I was hurt. I saw friends left, right, and centre get signed - some even sell their books. People I'd met when I first joined Twitter had signed, sold, and were holding actual copies of their published debuts in their hands. And I was there with my very impressive request stats and nothing to show for it.

One of the agents I'd queried with my WTMP book unexpectedly replied to my nudge to tell me my query had been buried, but she'd like to see the book. I didn't know what the protocol was - I had shelved that and began querying a new book! - but it wouldn't hurt, right? So I sent off that 25th request... and forgot about it.

My third book accumulated 11 full requests between Februrary and August 2022. A couple of those came back as rejections and I began to hit rock bottom. I was hopeless. I felt like a failure.

I told two of my close writing friends I was quitting. I was done with querying and writing and suffering. I couldn't do it. I had reached my breaking point.

I was going to pull all my queries and fulls at the end of the week, because I couldn't take it anymore.

And then, I got an email.

That one agent who'd reached out about the WTMP book wanted a call. I couldn't believe it. Three days later and I would have withdrawn that full (and all the others!).

214 rejections across three manuscripts. 3 years of querying. One offer*.

*I was fortunate enough that I ended up with counter offers from agents who had my most recent manuscript, but for the manuscript I signed with, that WTMP book, I had just The One.

One yes is all it takes. I had heard this before, many times. And I always thought it was true, it just wasn't happening to me. Until it did. At the most unexpected, low point in my three years of querying, my yes came in.

The journey was harrowing. I was very close to giving up many, many times. Right before that email, I had given up. I thought it would never happen to me. I cried, and I raged. I doubted my skills. I despaired.

But I had friends cheering me on. I had a community of people who kept telling me - just one more. One more query. One more book. One more month.

Don't give up.